Scott C. Holstad

“I Don’t Snarl at People, Dammit!”

She lovingly tells me that
I’m cranky, testy, bitchy,
that I’ve been a Grumpy Old Man
for years, hell, most of my life.

I simply see it as I am
a victim of peace, joy
and happiness deprivation
and hence act on that accordingly.

 

ID-Cranking

She looked at me and asked
“What are you thinking?”

Well,
of fine afternoons spent
dancing naked in the grass,
of half devoured sandwiches
and empty beer bottles, hot
poetry in the park, bubbling
steamy baths and

you in my bed.

She smiled.

Bed Thoughts/Torture Porn

I once asked a girl I was briefly with
what she thought about when she
was in bed at night (more so alone
than when otherwise engaged)
and she listed things like her schedule
the next day, working out and
the fact that it felt good to be in bed.

When she then asked me the same
question, I told her I thought about God
and if s/he existed and if he did, did he
even give a shit and is he actually
omnipotent and omniscient because
I see little evidence of that, think others
could have done a better job, and I
ponder why my parents believed what
they did so damn fervently and why
humanity acts and reacts the ways
it does as theoretically we ought
to be capable of so much more,
and who suffered more among

Kierkegaard
Dostoevsky
Schopenhauer/Nietzsche
Jünger            
Camus/Sartre

for instance, and if (a) God
is actually more benevolent
or evil because sometimes I
really just can’t tell
and
I felt her put a hand lightly on my
shoulder and she asked if I would
like a nice back rub and I sighed,
turned over and gave her my back.

 

Scott C. Holstad has authored & contributed to 75+ books & 800+ unique publications, some of which include the Minnesota Review, Exquisite Corpse, Long Shot, Santa Clara Review, Wormwood Review, Chiron Review, Bouillabaisse, Ink Sweat & Tears & Misfit. Recent publications includeThe Beatnik Cowboy, The Argyle, dadakuku, The Galway Review, Horror Sleaze Trash, miniMAG, Bristol Noir & Blood+Honey. He’s moved a lot & currently lives near Gettysburg PA.