Charles Rammelkamp

The Godfather

I’m the compère at VFW karaoke night,
not that I’m a vet, but my dad was,
Korean Conflict, as we call it.
I was born too late for the draft.
I’m a patriot; I just never got to serve.
But I’m loyal to the core.

Master of ceremonies, that’s me.
Patrons choose their songs,
I get the list, call them onstage.
Know what I love about my title?
It’s French for “godfather.”
Makes me feel like Marlon Brando.

Every Saturday, Dickie Hudson signs up
for R.E.M., “Losing My Religion.”
He’s no Michael Stipe,
but he puts his heart into it.
Oh no, I’ve said too much.
I haven’t said enough.

“Let’s give Dickie
a round of applause,” I cheer,
despite that froggy throat,
thinking what Vito Corleone said,
“A friend should always underestimate your virtues,
and an enemy overestimate your faults.”

Werewolf Women

Ah who! Werewolves of London!
Warren Zevon's voice floats ghostly
from unseen speakers as I push
my cart through the grocery store, 

and suddenly Sybil Danning appears
in my mind, the B-movie goddess from Austria.
Your Sister Is a Werewolf and 
Werewolf Women of the SS among her titles.

Started out as a cosmetician in Salzburg,
soon offered fashion shows, page layouts,
then made her film debut at 21, as Lorelei
in Komm nur, mein liebstes Vögelein 
(Come Now, My Dear Little Bird), a sex comedy,
followed it up with The Long Swift Sword of Siegfried,
playing Kriemhild in the erotic action film.

When she moved to Hollywood at thirty,
featured in Roger Corman’s cult classic,
Battle Beyond the Stars, the die was cast.
Chained Heat, Hercules, Malibu Express,
Reform School Girls. But my favorite?
Yeah, you guessed it. Her role as Stirba
in Howling II: Your Sister Is a Werewolf.

Tons of softcore porn films, like
Young Lady Chatterley II,
but I remember her best for those scifi spoofs
Amazon Women on the Moon and the others,
especially the werewolf ones. Ah Who!

 

Charles Rammelkamp is Prose Editor for Brick House Books in Baltimore. His poetry collection, A Magician Among the Spirits, poems about Harry Houdini, is a 2022 Blue Light Press Poetry winner.  A collection of persona poems and dramatic monologues involving burlesque stars, The Trapeze of Your Flesh, will be published by BlazeVOX Books.