Dave Newman

What Do You Want To Be When You Grow Up?

I got out of work late and rush hour traffic
moved like tugboats floating on sand

so I hopped off the Parkway and headed east
then wheeled to Dee’s Bar on the Southside.

Dee’s Bar looks like poor people drink there
and they do but with great smarts and handsome faces.

I ordered two beers and drank one in a sip
and pulled out a tablet to write something. 

The bartender said “Thirsty?”
and I ordered another beer and a shot.

The bartender looked like a dollar bill folded
over until it was more wrinkles than cash.

The beer was cold and bubbly and I pretended
like I’d slept more than two hours last night.

A woman in a short skirt and combat boots
sporting a nose ring and a blue note

tattooed on her neck stepped from the bathroom
snagged her beer from the bar and leaned into me.

She asked what I wanted to be when I grew up.
I was 33 and already married with a son

who puked down my back every night
when I rocked him to sleep.

My wife’s boss kept giving her roses
while she ducked his advances

and I was too tired to drive to her place
of employment and throw him in a headlock.

What did I want to be when I grew up?
I wanted to be a fist, a pistol, a dollar bill.

I wanted to be a body in a bed with my wife
and endless hours of sleep.

I wanted to be a father at a playground
pushing his son on a swing in the summer.

I wanted to finish my booze in silence
and write my poem about working

in a bookstore that sold legal thrillers and romance novels
and I wanted to imagine a world where I could be a writer.

The old bartender set down another beer
and said “On the house, sweetie”

then looked at my new drinking companion
with eyes made of tiny bullets and disgust.

The chick at the bar—she may have wanted
to bang me but I think she wanted a free drink. 

Most of us do.

 

Dave Newman is the author of eight books, including How To Live Like Li Po In Pittsburgh: essay from a writing life (J.New, Summer 2024). He lives in Trafford, PA, the last town in the Electric Valley, with his wife, the writer Lori Jakiela. For the last decade he worked in medical research. He currently teaches writing at the University of Pittsburgh-Greensburg.