Ron Koertge

          

FAQs

 Why do lines in a poem break?

Are you kidding? They’re fragile.

Line breaks look alike, but are they?

No.  They can be abrupt, brutal, vicious  as well as tender, 
discreet,  chivalrous. 

How do I know if my poems need breaks?    

Are your lines like runaway trains?  Do modifiers leap
from the page as they careen toward the margin?   

Can I make line breaks myself? 

Wear a Carhartt shirt with your name on it, also gloves
and safety glasses.   Don’t stand in water while making repairs!   

How long do line breaks last?  

A line stays broken until it’s mended. But a scar always remains.

 

Glamour Puss
after Catullus

You can’t help but talk about
her, can you?

The four-poster bed a hick like
you only knows from catalogs.

How it walked across the room
during your love-making.

A dozen red pillows, you said.
Compared to your stained futon

that so many have blanched
at the sight of?  I admit I too

have played the fool when
it comes to elegant thighs

and saffroned breasts.
Have dinner with me.  I will

shake the dust off my wallet. 
I know your previous

girlfriend was made of wood
and this one  is soft as rabbits’

fur.  Don’t worry   I’ll understand
if she comes strutting by and you

run after her leaving me with
the bill for bread, wine and olives.

 

Invisible Man Signs Up For Tinder

At first the women think he’s funny.  A breath of fresh air compared to the hogwash peddlers with their walks on the beach.   They tease him about being a mad scientist.  They ask for sexy pics of him in nothing but a lab coat.  They text LOL when he says his goldfish Finny disappeared swimming in [Cr(NH3)6](3+)[Cl(1-)]3, H(1+)[AuCl4!   When he wonders if the formula will work on humans, they add Rolling on the Floor Laughing emojis.  Disgusted, he’s about to delete his account when out of nowhere #Hotasabunsenburner responds with a suggestion about C24H30N203.  A few feverish hours in his basement and Success!  He replies immediately.  Great minds should meet! Makes a bank teller faint when fifties float from the cash drawer.  Boards a bus for free.    Then at Le Club there’s that small booth she told him about and   -- his heart is pounding now  --  a  coffee cup rising on its own, smear of scarlet lipstick on the rim. 

 

“Jagged Blade Found in Cake Destined for Inmate”

            But a wily guard probes.
Carries everything

            to Warden Hardin
who closes the door

            so they can take
turns licking icing

            off the blade, imagining
that inmate’s wife:

            recipe on the cutting board,
fingerprints disguised

            by Gold Medal flour.
What would it be like

            they wonder if someone
loved them that much. 

 

 

Ron Koertge  is the current Poet Laureate of South Pasadena, CA.