Alan Catlin
How to Write a Story: a noir
1-In the beginning
A man
A man and a blonde woman
A man and a blonde woman and a gun
A man and a blonde woman and a gun and a suitcase full of money
A man and a blonde woman and a gun and a suitcase full of money and a stolen car
A man and a blonde woman and a gun and a suitcase full of money and a stolen car wrecked
in a ditch
A man and a blonde woman and a gun and a suitcase full of money and a stolen car wrecked
in a ditch and the cops
A man and a blonde woman and a gun and a suitcase full of money and a stolen car wrecked
in a ditch and the cops and crooks
A man and a blonde woman and a gun and a suitcase full of money and a stolen car wrecked
in a ditch and the cops and crooks who want to steal
A man and a blonde woman and a gun and a suitcase full of money and a stolen car wrecked
in a ditch and the cops and crooks who want to steal the money back
A man and a blonde woman and a gun and a suitcase full of money and a stolen car wrecked
in a ditch and the cops and crooks who want to steal the money back from the man
A man and a blonde woman and a gun and a suitcase full of money and a stolen car wrecked
in a ditch and the cops and crooks who want to steal the money back from the man and
a blonde woman
A man and a blonde woman and a gun and a suitcase full of money and a stolen car wrecked
in a ditch and the cops and crooks who want to steal the money back from the man and a blonde woman who abandon
A man and a blonde woman and a gun and a suitcase full of money and a stolen car wrecked
in a ditch and the cops and crooks who want to steal the money back from the man and
a blonde woman who abandon the stolen car
A man and a blonde woman and a gun and a suitcase full of money and a stolen car wrecked
in a ditch and the cops and crooks who want to steal the money back from the man and a blonde woman who abandon the stolen car in the ditch
A man and a blonde woman and a gun and a suitcase full of money and a stolen car wrecked
in a ditch and the cops and crooks who want to steal the money back from the man and
a blonde woman who abandon the stolen car in the ditch with the gun
A man and a blonde woman and a gun and a suitcase full of money and a stolen car wrecked
in a ditch and the cops and crooks who want to steal the money back from the man and
a blonde woman who abandon the stolen car in the ditch with the gun and the money
A man and a blonde woman and a gun and a suitcase full of money and a stolen car wrecked
in a ditch and the cops and crooks who want to steal the money back from the man and
a blonde woman who abandon the stolen car in the ditch with the gun and the money
and have no memory
A man and a blonde woman and a gun and a suitcase full of money and a stolen car
wrecked in a ditch and the cops and crooks who want to steal the money back from the
man and a blonde woman who abandon the stolen car in the ditch with the gun and the
money and have no memory of how they got there
A man and a blonde woman and a gun and a suitcase full of money and a stolen car wrecked
in a ditch and the cops and crooks who want to steal the money back from the man and
a blonde woman who abandon the stolen car in the ditch with the gun and the money
and have no memory of how they got there or who they were
A man and a blonde woman and a gun and a suitcase full of money and a stolen car wrecked
in a ditch and the cops and crooks who want to steal the money back from the man and
a blonde woman who abandon the stolen car in the ditch with the gun and the money
and have no memory of how they got there or who they were or what the plan was2-
Summary of the Facts1- The man is a private detective
2- The blonde is his client
3- The blonde is a grieving widow
4- The man listens to her story
5- It doesn’t make much sense to him, but he takes the case
6- The blonde is beautiful
7- She offers an impossible-to-refuse retainer
8- She meets his doubled-for-this-case, fees
9- He examines the scanty leads
10-There is a lot of money involved
11-Money acquired through nefarious means
12-It is cash money
13-The best kind of money is cash
14-Or the loot
15- The loot is always referred to as: Mr. Cash
16-Or what the man in black left behind
17-The blonde’s former husband always dressed in impeccably tailored black suits
18-No one knows where Mr. Cash is
19-The missing legacy
20-She will do anything to find the money and claim it as her own
21-Anything
22-As the rightful heir
23-As the quintessential, bad news blonde
24-She isn’t the only one after Mr. Cash
25-Unsavory business associates of the late husband are highly motivated to recover the
legacy
26-Shady police investigators, plain clothes dicks, are as well
27-The scanty clues lead in unexpected places
28-Like the bedroom of the barely clad, all-in-black, grieving widow’s bedroom
29-This was not entirely unexpected
30-Now the private dick is stuck in a honey trap
31-He will do anything to protect her
32-Absolutely anything
33-This makes for a very strong, temporary working relationship
34-The cops and the highly motivated crooks and the private dick and his client
all converge at night on the same place where the red herring clues have suggested the
money is
35-The man and the blonde and the gun arrive first
36-Find a suitcase they believe is full of money and escape in a car stolen just of this
purpose.
37-It is the wrong suitcase
38-The bad guys cars have a much faster and better maintained than the stolen one
39-The chase leads into a windy back road deep into the woods
40-The narrative switches points of views from the man, to the blonde to the cops to the
highly motivated crooks
41-At a fork in the road in the woods, the car with the private dick and the blonde and the
wrong suitcase, chooses the less traveled path
42-The pursuers choose the path not taken
43-The man and the blonde do not see an obstacle in the road until the last second
44-It is a deer frozen in the headlights
45-The private dick serves to avoid it
46-And crashes into the woods and the car plummets down a ravine
47-The deer walks away as if nothing has happened
48-The car is out of the sightline of the road
49-The pursuers suspect they have taken he wrong path
50-The private dick and the blonde are shaken up and injured when their heads hit the
windshield
51-Their injuries appear minor
52-Scratches and bruises mostly
53-But the bumps on the head stuns them
54-The open their respective doors and fall onto the ground
55-They have no clue how they got where they are or what they are doing there.
56-As luck would have it, they decide to walk further into the woods rather than climb back
up the ravine where the road is
57-Where the pursuers are driving by
58-Furitlessly searching for the car
59-For:A man and a blonde woman and a gun and a suitcase full of money and a stolen car
they don’t know is wrecked in a ditch
60-It will be a long night for everyone involved
3-
Questions Not in Evidence that Need to be Addressed1- How will the private dick’s, and the blonde’s wandering, end?
2- In a cabin in the woods?
3- Will there be someone there?
4- Will that person know who they are?
5- Will he (or she or them) know about the missing money?
6- Or will he (or she or them) be as kind and helpful as he (or she or them) seems?
7- Where do the pursuers go?
8- Does John Law meet Nefarious Crooks on the road to perdition?
9- If so, what happens when they do meet?
10-Tie goes to John Law
11-Will there be a shoot out?
12-The assumption is, both groups of pursuers knows about the existence of the other, and
their shared goal.
13-Will the crooks decide to withdraw and live to fight another day?
14-Or will they decide to just get it over with and duke it out with pistols?
15-How many will be killed or injured?
16-On which side (or sides)?
17-If the bad guys win, what will they do with the bodies of the cops?
18-Killing cops is a capital offense.
19-If the cops win, will they call it in?
20-If they do call it in, how will they explain away dead bodies, in
the middle of nowhere, in the middle of the night?
21-My money is on the cops winning, and burying the bad guys in a shallow grave, or
dumping them in a handy cave nearby.
22-Who cares if the animals get to them?
23-They were only scumbags anyway.
24-And there are always more bad guys where they came from.
25-They were highly motivated and, no doubt the people who come next, will be even more
motivated.
26-How much money was it?
27-That it was worth dying for?
28- And how did the Man in Black come by it?
29-Does how he acquired the money (loot) even matter?
30-Probably not.
31-Whose temporary amnesia will be the first to go away?
32-If it the private dicks, does he have reservations about the blonde’s interest in him?
33-Does he suspect that she using him to acquire the money, and that she will dispose of
him once they have recovered it?
34-He is an highly experienced man of the world after all.
35-Of course, he won’t suspect a thing.
36-He’s a man.
37-And she’s a beautiful blonde.
38-Who has the gun we thought was left in the car.
39-And is gradually remembering who she is.
40-The femme fatale.
41-After all her husband died under what could be called, “mysterious circumstances.”
42-Men with money, who fall for her, generally do.
43-The plan is remain in the cabin with the benefactor, sneak out under deep cover of
darkness and find her way back to the car where the suitcase is.
44-Of course, nothing goes according to plan.
45-She is forced to shoot the benefactor (or benefactress or them and their extended family)
46-The private dick is awakened by the shots and must set out after her with a failing
battery powered flashlight.
46-But, first she must set fire to the cabin to cover her tracks.
47-Bad mistake for several reasons:
1a- What if the private dick isn’t dead, but just grazed by her shots.
2a-Her femme fatale routine has not included target practice.
3a-Next time, maybe.
4a-By which time it will be too late.
5a-One assumes.
6a-The fire will be seen by the cops who are staking out the general area.
7a-As it will by the crooks who are doing the same.
8a-Who will begin bushwhacking toward the cabin.
9a-Under sucky night time conditions, but with better tools, and stronger flashlights.
10a-While she, with her residual confusion from the concussion, will stumble in the wrong
direction, from where the car is
11a-Stuff will happen.
12a-People will be shot and killed.
13a-She really should have checked to see how many bullets were left in the chambers also.
14a-As this is a period piece, think 1950’s, there are no extra, handy clips, to insert in the
gun for extra fire power.
15a-This is not going to end well for her.
16a-It never does for the femme fatale no matter how beautiful she is.
17a-Or the private dick
18a-Who is a man after all.
19a-Or John Lawmen, who have an awful lot of loose ends to explain away.
20a-If they live and recover the wrong suitcase.
21a-Or the extremely highly motivated team of crooks, if they live.
22a-And recover the wrong suitcase.
23a-And bring it back to HQ.
24a-Oh, the irony of it all.4-
The actual storyIs brief.
The investigative reporter who examines all the papers in the Murder Books, the Case Files, the Contemporary Morgues of all the Daily and National Newspapers he can find. It is tedious work as none of this stuff is digitalized....
The facts are few: a lot of dead bodies. Some can be readily connected to the missing loot. The mysterious Mr. Cash is never located. Some suspect he died in a ring of fire the cabin left in the woods after it burned down, at about the same time all the bodies were found. The grieving widow, a private dick, two undercover representatives of John Law, and some small time hoods are identified. Eventually. How they all connected is unknown.
An abandoned car is found in the woods. Later, it will be traced to the stolen vehicle division and the owner identified. He can shed no light on the investigation. The car was stolen after all. If he knew who had it, or where it was going, or where it had ended up, the car wouldn’t be stolen now, would it? He was irascible as hell, after the insistent inquiries, but everyone had to admit he had a point.
The only luggage in the car was a strange suitcase. Strange, in that I was filled with bales of paper wrapped in cloth, with a few hundred dollar bills on the top of each pile. Though, it was kept as evidence for decades, no one came to claim it.
The investigators were never able to resolve the case to anyone’s satisfaction. Speculative solutions were offered but felt more like experimental fiction than hard case files. Soon it became a cold case. Where it resides now. New, more interesting, better sourced cases, sexier cases, took precedence.
A witty rejoinder was affixed on the last page of the case file in answer to a question posed by another reporter,
“What was this whole affair about?”
“The stuff dreams are made of.”
5-Alternative Endings
Of course, the writer may take a different path. Choose his (or her) own ending. It is this author’s hope that the outline provided above will provide direction. There are roughly one thousand seven hundred and nineteen different ways to write this story. More, if you change any of the details in the first section. Or, heaven forbid, in the second section. Or, even more drastically, in the third section(s).
Imagine, if you will. That the grieving widow is, in fact, in deep mourning for her husband. That the private dick misinterpreted her assignment and is, actually, the corrupt one with motives of his own. Or, that he is genuinely concerned for the widow’s plight, and truly wanted to help her claim what is rightful hers.
Think of it this way: those poor people could be trapped in the woods forever. What if the benefactor (benefactress) were holding them hostage for a share of the hidden wealth (remember Misery)? Or, if there had been no one there when they arrived at the cabin and, due to worsening health conditions, they are unable to leave their former refuge unaided. Their fragile condition becomes worse as meager food resources are depleted. How will they ever escape?
What if the John Lawmen were actually law abiding. That their interest in the case was motivated by tracking the crooks and their thwarting their nefarious plan to steal the money. Or, that the lawmen were killed in a shootout, and their bodies buried, and the crooks surrounded the cabin?
Or, what if the presumed crooks, were actual heirs, children of the Man in Black, from the inevitable previous marriage. And think about how these heirs felt they had a rightful claim to the inheritance, an inheritance, oddly kept in cash, by an eccentric, wealthy father. Who was, in turn, swindled by his much younger, enterprising wife.
And that the investigative journalist unearths vital clues that suggest where the actual suitcase full of money might be. That these clues are hidden among the bails of “money” now locked in the cold case evidence room that he (or she) must somehow access. By hook or by crook he (or she) will. And a whole new adventure begins.
5-a Alternative Endings
Monkeying with the original is not advised and is to be undertaken at your own risk. The author hereby disavows himself (or herself) from any bad results that may be the result of deviations from the original.Or of
The possibilities.
The choices.
The solutions.