Robert Casella


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You Should Know

You should know that I’m honest. You should know that I can’t resist someone who can make me laugh. Not because you think you are funny but because I do. You should know that I make my own decisions. You should know that I do what I want. You should know that I want you there and not that I need you there. You should know that I do want to be treated like a lady just like you want to be treated like a man, even though I am a man, too. You should know that I believe in God. You should know that I treat people right. You should know that I am sarcastic. You should know that I don’t blow sunshine up your ass. You should know that everyone has their own drama in life and that I will never invite anyone else’s unnecessary drama into my life. You should know that I’m looking for someone genuine. You should know that the size of your penis isn't important. You should now that I like to bake. You should know that I drive a red Toyota Camry. You should know that I am legally blind. You should know that I feel sorry for John Wilkes Booth. You should know that I'm afraid of flying. You should know that I have a short fuse. You should know that I was a Negro jazz cornetist named Lester in a previous life. You should know that I once shook Mao Zedong's hand (long story). You should know that I once beat a man to death in Fort Myers Beach with a tire iron. You should know that the man owed me money. You should know that my favorite TV show is Three's Company. You should know that jokes about Joyce DeWitt are off limits. You should know that I blend my own smoothies and inhale ether. You should know that when I look in the mirror I see sparrows. You should know that I don't like the Portuguese. You should know that I love chicken empanadas. You should know that I'll probably never completely trust you. You should know that when I look in the mirror I see an old woman vomiting in an alley in Asenovgrad. You should know that I think Franklin Pierce was a great president. You should know that I'm haunted by the dead children of Pompeii. You should know that some days I look more hermaphroditic than others.

 

A native of San Francisco, I now live in Las Vegas for some reason (masochistic tendencies?) Okay if you like to gamble, snort crank, and find silicone sexy. God, what an awful place.