Gene Goldfarb

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Artwork by Gene McCormick

wisdom: the 39th edition

due to increased printing costs this edition
has had to condense all my findings into a wholesome
but highly readable continuum of knowledge and thought
and eliminate capitalization.  so let’s begin:  1. a checkered
shirt will make a fat man look fat and a thin man look thin.
2. all the sensible women have moved back to Europe,
which leaves all the men here lost, even the sensible ones.
3. the civil servants who don’t sleep cause trouble,
the remainder stay awake long enough to figure out their
pensions.  4. you live once, then again maybe more than once,
but anyway who can keep count?  5. you can be lonely
for company, but once they’ve settled in you can’t help
wondering when they’ll leave.  6. i rarely give out my
phone number since I want to avoid futile acts and yelling out
“is that call for me?”  7. i’m sure the male fish can tell who
the female is without the big sit-down about the avian and
the apian.  8. if you’re looking to get beat up there are people
who’ll do it absolutely free.  9. a zillion light years away there’s
a discussion going on among these aliens about “burberry” and
what exactly it is, and it’s the only thing that keeps the order
from going out to destroy this planet and haute couture.  10. it’s
almost impossible to get rid of a piece of chewing gum at the
right time: either it’s too early and there’s flavor lost or it’s
too late and we encounter the menace of jaw fatigue—best to
leave this to the experts.


Gene Goldfarb, a Long Islander, has usually appeared through his poetry in the very small press: among these are Cliterature, SLANT, Black Fox, Heavy Feather Review, High Desert Journal, Quiddity and COG.